A key to thoughts

The day has been hard and night is becoming much harder. He is an intern doctor. Whole day, from eight in the morning to eight at night, he has worked at emergency department. It is not that he hates his work but he neither loves it too. That work has made him physically exhausted, and after that he is lying on his bed. But sleep has not tried to embrace him and his thoughts has started to eat his brain. The thoughts that always keep him occupied for many hours. The thoughts about his own life. Thoughts about his childhood.

Neither he remembers his childhood memories about his friends nor does he ever think about his school; but he is thinking about his thoughts when he was a child. I am not saying that he remembers exactly what he thought when he was a child. No, it is not possible because he has not that much sharp memory and also it has never happened. But he is remembering how he thought.

Thoughts of a child filled with innocence and truth. He always tries to figure out what has happened to that child. A child who has always stood by truth. The one who has never thought about his religion or country. As he has grown up, he becomes a Hindu and his heart has been filled with hatred for other religions. He has been taught that he is a Brahman and some people of other caste are untouchables. As he has grown up he becomes an Indian and thoughts of nationalism has been filled in his mind. He comes to know that he is from Gujarat and his heart fills with pride. As he becomes a doctor; he feels superior than other professions.

When he talked with his friends, he sometimes had opinions on various subjects. But he knew that his opinions were biased. It was a Hindu, residing in him, that spoke when he talked about Gujarat riots. When he talked about recent Pakistani affairs at LOC; it was an Indian in him who was speaking. Sometimes his doctor waked up to defend some scums of his professions. But he knew that those were not his opinion.

When he becomes alone, as he is today, he tries to find out that child without any thoughts filled in his mind by community. He adores that thought. Sometimes he thinks that slowly slowly community has locked his thoughts inside a small room and he does not know how to open that door. He is trying to find a man who possesses a key that can open a door of that room and give his unprejudiced thoughts back to him. His mind has been cheated on the name of religion, nation, caste, profession, community. His innocence has been stolen and at last he has become a part of community. He has become what others want to see inside him. He has went where life with security showing glimpses to him.

At last his mind becomes exhausted too and even he does not know when it has embraced sleep.He has slept soundly.

After a long hours of sleep he wakes up; he has never needed any alarms to break his sleep. It looks like his mind has its own alarm clock inside it; whenever his sleep is enough to keep away tiredness of previous day, he wakes up. Today is same as all days in this aspect but something is different. When he gets up from his bed, first he takes a brush in his hand and puts toothpaste on that brush; then he goes to door but it has already been unlocked from inside. This can not be possible. He can properly remember that he has locked the door from inside and he is alone in the room because his room partner has gone to home. Even he becomes more amazed when he tries to open the door; it has been locked from outside. What the hell? Who does want to lock him inside a room? Someone must be playing a joke. He tries to make a noise and cries for help but he is thinking that it is futile because most of his neighbors are at their homes due to Diwali holidays and those, who are at hostel, must be sleeping in their rooms. And I think his thoughts are true; I mean who wakes up at six early in the morning at hostel? But we both have been proven wrong when the door of his room starts making a noise. The door is being opened from outside. At first he thought that God has helped him suddenly; even before he asks help from Him.

The noise has gone away but the door has been left ajar. When he opens the door fully; he realizes that it can never be a work of God. He sees an opened lock near his door. A strange lock. He has never seen such bigger lock in his life. And even more strange is that it is open; it means whoever opened it must have a key to keep him free from his room. So that stranger may be the one who locked him in his room or may be that stranger know someone who locked him there otherwise how the lock has been opened by a key; well it must have been broken. When he comes outside his room, he hears a noise of someone running down the stairs. (His room is on second floor and stairs are nearer to his room.) He runs behind that stranger.

When he climbed down the stairs and looks at the stranger who has stopped at some distance from stairs; he becomes dumbstruck. His thoughts come to a stop. He just looked at the stranger. This can never be true. The stranger looked at him and he looked himself in the stranger. As if he is looking in a mirror. Same clothes, same face, same body. Now that stranger self of him smiles at him and shows a key to him. A key by which that lock was opened. That imitation of his body cries at him,” Waaake uuup… waake uup…”

And suddenly he wakes up and his sleep is broken. He looks at the door which is locked from inside.

Now he knows who locked his thoughts and there has never been any key.

THE END

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